So…today has been a pretty busy day filled with all the stuff that goes with getting a family ready to go back to school. That includes me! AND…it just hit me a little bit ago.
Taylor, my oldest daughter will be starting her first day of her Senior Year in High School tomorrow. To many of you reading this…this may sound as of no big deal to you…it happens to be something that almost every Mom goes through with their child. Yes…this day was bound and determined to come whether or not I wanted it to.
My truth is…that tomorrow I will be either putting my 17 year old daughter, who has cerebral palsy on a bus or driving her to school for her first day of High School. She will be going on a campus filled with over a thousand students… I have so many mixed emotions that I attempted to write them down…AND then the tears just got in the way…so I decided to record a little video for you…AND maybe just maybe another parent is having a challenging time at this very moment…and they will know that they are not alone.
On our 4th meeting with more than 4 hours sitting in a chair…just today. The IEP (Individualized Education Program) Team has finally come to an agreement in regards to Taylor’s education for the next year. Not all individuals at that meeting were excited or thrilled with my perseverence…however, overall I feel that for the first time in a long time I experienced what was a long time coming…a true IEP where the entire team involved had input and developed an “individualized education program” that what we all think will be best for Taylor and will assist with transitioning her into whats to come after High School.
I’m excited to say next year, Taylor will get to experience a year without a one on one Assistant (in order to provide her independence and more opportunities for self-advocacy skills), She will get to attend a Photography class to emphasize her love for photos, she will get more opportunities to be with her same age non-disabled peers, AND she will get a wide variety of opportunities to learn and develop more functional academic skills and be given a chance to implement them 3-4 times weekly throughout the community (Community Based Instruction), among many more changes that were made.
Wow! I didn’t realize how much the last two months of planning for this IEP has been on my heart and been bothering me so until the IEP was over. I feel so relieved that when I came home I began to feel physically ill. My tummy has been in knots. I am optimistic that I will feel like new in the morning…but for now I think I am going to celebrate with a coca-cola slurpee. (Yes, Ian (my trainer) a slurpee is not on the diet menu…AND, I am going to have one anyways!)
I’m not sure what the future will hold…only God knows that. However, I am excited for the next school year to come to see all the gains Taylor is going to make!
Well, today was PART 3 of Taylor’s IEP. Taylor’s Teacher of Record scheduled the meeting in the afternoon this time to allow all of the team members to be in attendance (i.e: all related services (Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapist, Speech Therapist, Nurse, Transition Specialist), Special Ed Teacher, Gen Ed Teacher, School District Representative) …however, that means that I only had an hour to be able to meet…since it was during my lunch hour. I left my last school and darted over to Taylor’s High School and ran in that meeting as fast as I could. I had an Advocate attend with me…so I had someone there who also knew the mine and Taylor’s rights to assist me.
During these times is when I wish we had a meeting like this on film to help others understand how imperative these IEP meetings are for a child’s successful future. Developing an IEP is not something that should be rushed through. Especially this one! This is the IEP before Taylor turns 18, she will be a Senior in High School next year and currently there is no plan in place for what her future will be. Don’t they get it?! Other 17 year olds start making plans for their future at this time…why not my 17 year old? Regardless, of what I believe or anyone else believes Taylor is capable and a future is inevitable…time moves forward…we can’t stop that. It is just up to us to determine how great we believe Taylor’s can be…and I believe she is made for something great!!
Well, without going into every single detail of that hour (and there are a lot of details) we only were able to cover a small portion of the actual IEP. I knew this going in..and had made it very clear. When I sat down, I communicated that I only had an hour today plus I had previously communicated this through email about the time constraint. When my time was up…I advised the team I had to leave. Due to me running out of time, I had made it clear that I wanted to be present for the entire IEP. The Special Ed Facilitator (he was currently leading the meeting) then raised his voice and said , “OK, well if you have to leave, then the rest of the team will finish the IEP and you can review it.” What? Why would you have a meeting about my child when I’m not there? Why would someone want to plan for her future without one of the most important team member’s input??…Me!!! When I objected, and this is the critical piont…he pushed to ignore my stand and attempted to continue the meeting. He started saying that legally it had to be done and they must finish. He completely ignored my request. This made me think…Does he care about Taylor’s life? This is her life and we want to just skip right through it?
It was so bad that the other teachers started defending my position. Thank-you to those other team members!!! I’m sure that parents in my positon without the training would have caved in and lost their effort to be present. This is what concerns and angers me. Others can mess with me and my children…because God gave me the tools to fight for my children’s rights. I have those gifts, and I will use them. In the end…it will all work out…I will do my all to make sure of it. However, other parents weren’t given the knowledge in IEPs, Education, & Advocacy in order to do so. The IEP process can be so overwhelming for me and I have a Masters Degree to know all this stuff! Can you imagine how overwhelming it may be for others who aren’t familiar with the process? Think of how many parents may have been bullied by this same teacher? AND who is ultimately affected in the long run? The child! They are the ones who get left behind!!! I have got to find a way to make a difference with this. Not sure how to educate others…but I guess this is a start.
I made my stand and as a team we all agreed and rescheduled Taylor’s IEP (Part 4) for next Tuesday morning. I’ll keep you posted!
As a Special Education Teacher who is currently teaching children from 3-6 with Autism it is always a blessing and so rewarding when I see the little accomplishments in my students. I have a unique position with the school district that allows me to travel to 3 different Early Childhood Autism Programs daily and teach the children in each class for a specific amount of time. Today, I arrived at one of the schools and greeted my students outside. One of my students spotted me and ran across the playground to greet me. Now, let me just tell you a a brief history about him. When I began working with him roughly 8 months ago, he was non-verbal, wouldn’t maintain eye contact, would show little to no emotions, and had a difficult time following much of any directions. Over the past 8 months he has grown to enjoy the time I teach him and gets excited when I arrive in his class. His excitement is shown by the compliance he shows when I give him a direction.
Today he greeted me by running to me when I walked outside and as he came near, he stopped. As he was avoiding eye contact with me he quietly said “hug”. He wanted a hug!!! I couldn’t believe it! I looked at the Assistants to make sure I wasn’t hearing things and they also were amazed. Time to celebrate! This is from a child who always plays by himself, rarely initiates any communication from others in any way and he asked for a hug!!! He got a hug alright! Those are the moments that are unforgettable. If I only had a few moments in my life like that than I would have been blessed more than I deserve. (Which I already am) My only regret is that his Mom didn’t see that…however, I am convinced he was just practicing on me! The big hug is for his Mom!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I believe these children are God’s hidden Angels. Only God could have known I needed a hug like that.
As I was getting ready this morning it crossed my mind AGAIN that Taylor will be entering her last year of High School and Jorden & Erin will be entering their last year in middle school. Wow! It’s really happening…..they are growing up! If there ever was a time that my children should be filmed it should be the next year. I have so many questions about the future and feel that I will be entering a whole new territory. Next year, Taylor will become an adult and will be graduating from High School. This is why I often discuss her education more than the other two, since we are entering such an important milestone. Even the thought of this brings tears to my eyes. She is so small, and so immature, yet such an important presence in this World that I want to make sure that she is given the best possible chance to live a life full of joy, love, independence, and self-worth.
Her IEP (Individualized Education Program) is scheduled for next Tuesday. I really wish that the teachers who work with her could see the accomplishments that she has made, could feel the joy I have, could know the tough times, could know everything a parent who has a child with special needs goes through. If only I could give them special glasses to look through for a brief moment. I wouldn’t want them to have those glasses for too long…because I want them to have high expectations for her (even more than I do!!) Those special glasses would allow them to see past her drool, her awkward gait, her delay in cognition, and her crooked teeth AND then see the smile that lights up the room, her uncanny sense of humor, her friendly demeanor, and her gift to capture people behind a camera. They would see the gifts that God has given her and as her teacher they would focus on these gifts to teach her and to help guide her to be the person she was made to be. This might allow them to see how important their job is to me and my children. As a Special Education Teacher myself, I take my job really serious and know how blessed I am to be able to do it!
Tomorrow after work at 3:30 I have a meeting with my advocate to review Taylor’s IEP to discuss where we believe Taylor’s education should be focused on within the next year. Then, early Friday morning, before work…I will be meeting Taylor’s Teacher that is her assigned case manager (she constructs the IEP) to go over with her what I would like to see in the IEP before the actual meeting on Tuesday.
Right now…I am feeling a lot of pressure and pray every day that I am doing the right things for my children and hope that God will provide me with the answers for their future.
So…today has been a pretty busy day filled with all the stuff that goes with getting a family ready to go back to school. That includes me! AND…it just hit me a little bit ago.
I wouldn’t want them to have those glasses for too long…because I want them to have high expectations for her (even more than I do!!) Those special glasses would allow them to see past her drool, her awkward gait, her delay in cognition, and her crooked teeth AND then see the smile that lights up the room, her uncanny sense of humor, her friendly demeanor, and her gift to capture people behind a camera. They would see the gifts that God has given her and as her teacher they would focus on these gifts to teach her and to help guide her to be the person she was made to be. This might allow them to see how important their job is to me and my children. As a Special Education Teacher myself, I take my job really serious and know how blessed I am to be able to do it!