So…today has been a pretty busy day filled with all the stuff that goes with getting a family ready to go back to school. That includes me! AND…it just hit me a little bit ago.
Taylor, my oldest daughter will be starting her first day of her Senior Year in High School tomorrow. To many of you reading this…this may sound as of no big deal to you…it happens to be something that almost every Mom goes through with their child. Yes…this day was bound and determined to come whether or not I wanted it to.
My truth is…that tomorrow I will be either putting my 17 year old daughter, who has cerebral palsy on a bus or driving her to school for her first day of High School. She will be going on a campus filled with over a thousand students… I have so many mixed emotions that I attempted to write them down…AND then the tears just got in the way…so I decided to record a little video for you…AND maybe just maybe another parent is having a challenging time at this very moment…and they will know that they are not alone.
On our 4th meeting with more than 4 hours sitting in a chair…just today. The IEP (Individualized Education Program) Team has finally come to an agreement in regards to Taylor’s education for the next year. Not all individuals at that meeting were excited or thrilled with my perseverence…however, overall I feel that for the first time in a long time I experienced what was a long time coming…a true IEP where the entire team involved had input and developed an “individualized education program” that what we all think will be best for Taylor and will assist with transitioning her into whats to come after High School.
I’m excited to say next year, Taylor will get to experience a year without a one on one Assistant (in order to provide her independence and more opportunities for self-advocacy skills), She will get to attend a Photography class to emphasize her love for photos, she will get more opportunities to be with her same age non-disabled peers, AND she will get a wide variety of opportunities to learn and develop more functional academic skills and be given a chance to implement them 3-4 times weekly throughout the community (Community Based Instruction), among many more changes that were made.
Wow! I didn’t realize how much the last two months of planning for this IEP has been on my heart and been bothering me so until the IEP was over. I feel so relieved that when I came home I began to feel physically ill. My tummy has been in knots. I am optimistic that I will feel like new in the morning…but for now I think I am going to celebrate with a coca-cola slurpee. (Yes, Ian (my trainer) a slurpee is not on the diet menu…AND, I am going to have one anyways!)
I’m not sure what the future will hold…only God knows that. However, I am excited for the next school year to come to see all the gains Taylor is going to make!
Well, today was PART 3 of Taylor’s IEP. Taylor’s Teacher of Record scheduled the meeting in the afternoon this time to allow all of the team members to be in attendance (i.e: all related services (Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapist, Speech Therapist, Nurse, Transition Specialist), Special Ed Teacher, Gen Ed Teacher, School District Representative) …however, that means that I only had an hour to be able to meet…since it was during my lunch hour. I left my last school and darted over to Taylor’s High School and ran in that meeting as fast as I could. I had an Advocate attend with me…so I had someone there who also knew the mine and Taylor’s rights to assist me.
During these times is when I wish we had a meeting like this on film to help others understand how imperative these IEP meetings are for a child’s successful future. Developing an IEP is not something that should be rushed through. Especially this one! This is the IEP before Taylor turns 18, she will be a Senior in High School next year and currently there is no plan in place for what her future will be. Don’t they get it?! Other 17 year olds start making plans for their future at this time…why not my 17 year old? Regardless, of what I believe or anyone else believes Taylor is capable and a future is inevitable…time moves forward…we can’t stop that. It is just up to us to determine how great we believe Taylor’s can be…and I believe she is made for something great!!
Well, without going into every single detail of that hour (and there are a lot of details) we only were able to cover a small portion of the actual IEP. I knew this going in..and had made it very clear. When I sat down, I communicated that I only had an hour today plus I had previously communicated this through email about the time constraint. When my time was up…I advised the team I had to leave. Due to me running out of time, I had made it clear that I wanted to be present for the entire IEP. The Special Ed Facilitator (he was currently leading the meeting) then raised his voice and said , “OK, well if you have to leave, then the rest of the team will finish the IEP and you can review it.” What? Why would you have a meeting about my child when I’m not there? Why would someone want to plan for her future without one of the most important team member’s input??…Me!!! When I objected, and this is the critical piont…he pushed to ignore my stand and attempted to continue the meeting. He started saying that legally it had to be done and they must finish. He completely ignored my request. This made me think…Does he care about Taylor’s life? This is her life and we want to just skip right through it?
It was so bad that the other teachers started defending my position. Thank-you to those other team members!!! I’m sure that parents in my positon without the training would have caved in and lost their effort to be present. This is what concerns and angers me. Others can mess with me and my children…because God gave me the tools to fight for my children’s rights. I have those gifts, and I will use them. In the end…it will all work out…I will do my all to make sure of it. However, other parents weren’t given the knowledge in IEPs, Education, & Advocacy in order to do so. The IEP process can be so overwhelming for me and I have a Masters Degree to know all this stuff! Can you imagine how overwhelming it may be for others who aren’t familiar with the process? Think of how many parents may have been bullied by this same teacher? AND who is ultimately affected in the long run? The child! They are the ones who get left behind!!! I have got to find a way to make a difference with this. Not sure how to educate others…but I guess this is a start.
I made my stand and as a team we all agreed and rescheduled Taylor’s IEP (Part 4) for next Tuesday morning. I’ll keep you posted!
I had a scheduled non-formal meeting this morning at 7am with Taylor’s teacher. The plan was that her and I were going to sit down and discuss some of the components and goals & objectives I would like Taylor to be working on in the next year. We wanted to have this ready for next weeks IEP. I had been planning for this meeting and showed up at 7am and found the Teacher had called in. I was never informed, therefore I wanted to speak to someone so I asked to speak to the Administrator that was over her, and he left me waiting for an hour. I needed to get to work myself, so I had to leave.
Needless to say, the day didn’t start off with a bang it started off with a noisy gong! I was feeling defeated. Feeling as if no one cared about my daughter. I definitely made my presence and point before I left the school and on the phone later (no worries, I am a Christian woman so I can’t go too crazy). Tuesday is our meeting….I am almost positive that we will not be able to get what needs to be done within that hour…but am excited to start it. I really want to get a great plan for Taylor’s future together. This could be a fun thing to do if we let it (at least I am going to believe this!)..
This week has been a challenging week for me. I am realizing that there is a future in front of us. AND, I have to be honest…I am truly scared to make the wrong decision for her. I really am. I want to her to be happy, healthy, & independent (what parent doesn’t). However, I absolutely have NO idea what that decision looks like or might be.
I went to the gym after work and Ian (my Trainer) worked me out so hard that during the workout I could feel the emotions wanting to gush out of me. In fact, when I got in the car and had a moment to myself all the anxiety, fear, frustration, & sadness came out and then I did the one thing I could think of to do AND that was to call my Mother!
The night ended much better. The kiddos and I went to see a Baseball Game. We had gotten free tickets through our church. It was great to be outside with them and it seemed every time we were turning our head, we found another friend. It was so great to feel the love and support around us. I need to make sure I remember this when I am feeling alone or defeated! There are many wonderful individuals that I have been blessed with in my life…they seem to be there right when I need them (or at least when God knows we do).
As a Special Education Teacher who is currently teaching children from 3-6 with Autism it is always a blessing and so rewarding when I see the little accomplishments in my students. I have a unique position with the school district that allows me to travel to 3 different Early Childhood Autism Programs daily and teach the children in each class for a specific amount of time. Today, I arrived at one of the schools and greeted my students outside. One of my students spotted me and ran across the playground to greet me. Now, let me just tell you a a brief history about him. When I began working with him roughly 8 months ago, he was non-verbal, wouldn’t maintain eye contact, would show little to no emotions, and had a difficult time following much of any directions. Over the past 8 months he has grown to enjoy the time I teach him and gets excited when I arrive in his class. His excitement is shown by the compliance he shows when I give him a direction.
Today he greeted me by running to me when I walked outside and as he came near, he stopped. As he was avoiding eye contact with me he quietly said “hug”. He wanted a hug!!! I couldn’t believe it! I looked at the Assistants to make sure I wasn’t hearing things and they also were amazed. Time to celebrate! This is from a child who always plays by himself, rarely initiates any communication from others in any way and he asked for a hug!!! He got a hug alright! Those are the moments that are unforgettable. If I only had a few moments in my life like that than I would have been blessed more than I deserve. (Which I already am) My only regret is that his Mom didn’t see that…however, I am convinced he was just practicing on me! The big hug is for his Mom!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I believe these children are God’s hidden Angels. Only God could have known I needed a hug like that.
So…today has been a pretty busy day filled with all the stuff that goes with getting a family ready to go back to school. That includes me! AND…it just hit me a little bit ago.
