It seems everytime I meet someone new….and they learn about my family I seem to get the same response…AND that is “you have 3 children with special needs?” and my response is, “yes”…AND then they say “You are doing it all by yourself?” and my response again is, “yes”. Then they ask “How do you do it?”, or they respond “you must be an angel”. AND the truth is….How do I do it? I really am not sure…but I do know I am doing it with God by myself every step of the way…and at times, I am not sure how good of a job I am doing. AND an Angel? Far from…I’m just the girl he chose to be the Little kiddos Old Lady, and to be quite honest…I really would like to know what was he thinking? AND then I remember who am I to question God?
So, this brings me to my point in today’s blog. Yesterday Jase & I came to the decision to go our seperate ways…and the challenge I was struggling with was “How do I tell the kids?” Part of this separation is including being seperated from the kids. However, I understand that they all have a relationship with him, and they love him dearly, they look up to him…so to cut off any communication with him completely would be unfair to them. However, something needs to be done…and I’m just not sure what to do.
Well, I came home last night wondering what to say to the kids…wondering if I should say anything…but apparently I didn’t have to say much. It must have been written all over my face. They knew something was up…and they knew what it was. They all were sad…but Taylor was broken hearted. After hugging & laying on my lap for a good 20 mins…she went into her room and sobbed.
I felt so alone and felt like I had failed as a Mom. I put Tay into my bed to lay in my bed…so she would feel more comforted. I woke up in the morning with all of my kiddos in my bed. Tay on one side, Erin on the other, & Jorden switching from laying next to me to laying on the end of the bed. AND I have to say…they weren’t there to comfort each other….they were there to comfort me.
My kiddos have never ended up in bed with me like that. It was like God was telling me that I have all the love I need right now. How did I get so lucky? I was given 3 Angels.
Tomorrow is officially the end of the first week of the 2010/11 school year and as far as work went it couldn’t have gone better. The kiddos are still adjusting to all that comes with a new school year.
Today was a tough day for me…I made the choice to say Goodbye to someone who I had in my life for the past few years…AND even though I have fought the decision every step of the way…I was given clarity today that is time to move toward the next journey of my life. I still don’t get why I can be so strong in other areas and yet so weak in this one…and I am trusting that God has something so much greater planned!
It’s September 1st, and a new month brings tons of changes in our home…As you can imagine with school starting we have been extremely busy. Like always, busy with transitioning to a new School year with a new schedule that is made up of new teachers, new friends, new students, and new environments for all four of us that take a lot getting used to.
So far it is evident that Taylor is enjoying the beginning of her Senior Year. If you have been watching or reading my blog in the last year you will know that Taylor’s history of waking up in the morning to go to school has been rocky from the start. Well, her Senior Year has seem to do her well…she’s going on 3 out of 3 days with risin’ and shinin’ on her own. It’s been awesome!!!
Jorden started his 8th grade year…and he is also off to a great start. He is excited about all of his classes…especially his elective. Jorden, on his own chose to be a Peer Advocate. He spends a class period assisting students who are hearing impaired. Which he thinks is the coolest thing ever! I believe he goes to Science with them, and helps with writing notes, & also gets to learn at least 5-10 signs a week. Jorden is ecstatic and absolutely loves this class.
Erin is having a much more challenging time starting the school year. The last two years of Middle School Erin has been very successful. I believe that success is partially due to how great her teacher was. Erin has been and is currently in a Specialized Program part of the day and for the other part of the day her previous teacher had her enrolled in regular classes (i.e: Choir, Science, & P.E). Well, this year she has a new teacher. This teacher is from another country, and Erin is having a hard time understanding what she is saying & teaching. She is really missing her old teacher, and has been reminding me of this daily. I have so much more to say about this…but for now, I will say that my concern lies with Erin. I can see she is depressed about a number of things…and to be honest, I will be meeting with the new teacher soon. So for now…I ask for prayers.
