Sunday, August 29th 2010

So…today has been a pretty busy day filled with all the stuff that goes with getting a family ready to go back to school. That includes me! AND…it just hit me a little bit ago.

Taylor, my oldest daughter will be starting her first day of her Senior Year in High School tomorrow. To many of you reading this…this may sound as of no big deal to you…it happens to be something that almost every Mom goes through with their child. Yes…this day was bound and determined to come whether or not I wanted it to.

My truth is…that tomorrow I will be either putting my 17 year old daughter, who has cerebral palsy on a bus or driving her to school for her first day of High School. She will be going on a campus filled with over a thousand students… I have so many mixed emotions that I attempted to write them down…AND then the tears just got in the way…so I decided to record a little video for you…AND maybe just maybe another parent is having a challenging time at this very moment…and they will know that they are not alone.

Until Next Time,

E

(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)

Monday, August 9th 2010

PART 3

MY JOURNEY WITH JASE

I went on my first date with Jase on June 1st, 2007 (Yep, I EVEN remember the day!) . We hit it off so well on the phone that I broke my “meet & greet” rule and jumped right into a date with him. I had a feeling that he would be a great one to have dinner with. The chemistry was immediate (it was to me). It was apparent that even the bartender agreed, because she had acknowledged it while he slipped away to the rest room. Our second “meet & greet” was at church. He came to my church to meet me, that gave him extra props in my eyes. Anyway, long story short a few dates later we were quickly spending all of our time together.

The kids left to go to their Dad’s house for the summer right after we met. Jase only had a chance to meet them briefly at the Church. Therefore, other than what I told him…he didn’t know EXACTLY what he was jumping into. We had a busy summer and spent most of our time with each other. If you don’t know already, Jase has his own Seminar Company and is a Personal Development Speaker. He is amazing at what he does. He introduced me to Personal Development (PD) that summer. I think one of the things that intrigued him about me was that I was so happy and just loved life so much ( I really did you know!)…and he had a hard time believing I had never been to a seminar, had never read any PD books, or been down that avenue before. However, I enjoyed learning from him. Enjoyed everything he had to say. He was so positive, so energetic, loved to live life the way I did, we loved the same music, same food, AND he was/is very handsome! We experienced a trip to Puerto Vallarta (which was my first time out of the country). He introduced me to football and taught me all about it. I began to love it and became a die hard Dallas Cowboy’s Fan (which I’m not sure I am happy about…because they know how to break my heart by not winning ), and we went to Church together. That was the first summer that I really lived fully. AND last but definitely not least. I fell in love with him. I would have been positive that he was the one…AND I think for a brief moment he thought I was too (at least that is what I believed). The only thing that was holding me back was that he hadn’t met the kiddos yet.

Then my kiddos came back. Now, let me tell you. My children, especially at that time were 3 very busy kiddos and at times weren’t the easiest. The twins just turned 10 and Taylor was 14 going on 7. The twins were in this fighting with each other stage, and Jorden loved to ask 101 questions (things haven’t changed much in that category) AND Taylor (where do I begin). Taylor had pretty involved behavior challenges, and Erin was getting ready to have an extensive orthopedic surgery in Los Angeles. At that time they weren’t the easiest kiddos even if they didn’t have challenges…but they did and they do.

Even though I prepared him for when the kids came back, I don’t think I could have prepared him enough. Jase is an only child, who has never really been around a large family…so one can only imagine walking into mine could be a little overwhelming (ok,more than a little). At that moment, my biggest fear came true…and the person that I finally loved wasn’t sure if this was the type of lifestyle he wanted….we broke up around August/September.

Wow…this is just the beginning, still not sure how I can explain it all…but will do my best tomorrow.

To Be Continued….

I have been through some of the most memorable events in my life with Jase.

Until Next Time,

E

(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)

Sunday, June 6th, 2010

As I am typing, Taylor is laying sound asleep next to me in my bed. I just gave her some medicine rectally in order to stop a seizure she was having. It absolutely breaks my heart to see her so confused and so uncomfortable when she has these. You know, seeing her and Erin go through these really stinks!

I do my best to always look on the bright side…but I promised when writing this blog..I would be authentic and right now…It really sucks!!! My heart breaks. I love these kids more than anyone can imagine. I really do. AND, I truly believe that they are here for a reason…I do my best to focus on that daily…every time I get sad, every time there is an obstacle to overcome, I know that there is a purpose…I just know it. There has to be. I guess that is why I write this blog. Hoping to fulfill their purpose, hoping to give one family a little bit of hope and faith, hoping to make sure my children’s life is full of purpose, hope, and encouragement for others. Again, I have got to believe it is. I often think my family & friend’s think I’m nutty for how passionate I can be at times…but I can’t help it….I just want what every parent wants for their children. I want them to be able to have it all, to be happy, to live their dreams, and sometimes I wish I truly knew what those dreams are. I also wish I had someone next to me that truly understood the pain and frustration. It can lonely at times with these thoughts. I get wrapped up in my own wants and needs at times and it is times like these that kick me in the butt and cause me to change gears to where my priorities and thoughts should focus.

I say all this…because it is times like these when my children hurt and I sit in a house with all three of them feeling like my hands are tied, feeling that life is not fair for them, and feeling angry. These feelings aren’t felt often, but right now they are real and soon shall pass.

Until Next Time,

E

(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)

Thursday, May 13th 2010

As a Special Education Teacher who is currently teaching children from 3-6 with Autism it is always a blessing and so rewarding when I see the little accomplishments in my students. I have a unique position with the school district that allows me to travel to 3 different Early Childhood Autism Programs daily and teach the children in each class for a specific amount of time. Today, I arrived at one of the schools and greeted my students outside. One of my students spotted me and ran across the playground to greet me. Now, let me just tell you a a brief history about him. When I began working with him roughly 8 months ago, he was non-verbal, wouldn’t maintain eye contact, would show little to no emotions, and had a difficult time following much of any directions. Over the past 8 months he has grown to enjoy the time I teach him and gets excited when I arrive in his class. His excitement is shown by the compliance he shows when I give him a direction.

Today he greeted me by running to me when I walked outside and as he came near, he stopped. As he was avoiding eye contact with me he quietly said “hug”. He wanted a hug!!! I couldn’t believe it! I looked at the Assistants to make sure I wasn’t hearing things and they also were amazed. Time to celebrate! This is from a child who always plays by himself, rarely initiates any communication from others in any way and he asked for a hug!!! He got a hug alright! Those are the moments that are unforgettable. If I only had a few moments in my life like that than I would have been blessed more than I deserve. (Which I already am) My only regret is that his Mom didn’t see that…however, I am convinced he was just practicing on me! The big hug is for his Mom!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I believe these children are God’s hidden Angels. Only God could have known I needed a hug like that.

Until Next Time,

E

(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)

Tuesday, April 27th 2010

The weather was amazing here in Las Vegas yesterday.The temperature fell in the 80’s most of the day. It was absolutely beautiful! Today, not so lovely. It is extremely windy and has dropped to the 60’s. How can I be consistent with my kiddo’s when the weather has a difficult time learning consistency? It seems as if I always have to remind my kiddos about the weather changing. Even Taylor, my 17 year old doesn’t seem to get it sometimes. She wants to wear a knee high skirt when it’s 45 degrees outside, and as Erin & Jorden were waiting for the bus yesterday morning I peaked outside and saw them both in sweat jackets with long sleeve shirts and one of them was wearing shorts! It seems like it is such a challenge for them to understand whats appropriate & not appropriate to wear. What the Behaviorist in me wants to do is to just let them go to school that way and let them either freeze their little tail off or feel hotter than fire…However, the Mother in me…just can’t do it! So for now, I say it’s time the weather should make up her mind!

Taylor has been on a roll today. Her comedic side has kicked in. I was driving the kids to pick up their new eye glasses and we drove by a replica of the Statue of Liberty earlier and Taylor said “Look Mom, its the Statue of Somethin’ Somethin’”, and then her little giggle set in (as if she was saying that The Lady lacked a little somethin’ somethin’). Also, just as I was sitting here beginning to write my daily entry she began to banter back and forth with Jorden and said…”You better watch it!” Jorden said, “watcha gonna do about it if I don’t?” Taylor quickly responded…”I’ll contact my Dean of the “Dean of Students” tomorrow, and he will be down here at our house as fast as can AND he will handle you!!” We all began to look at each other and then laughter began to follow! I swear, you would think she has the power of the President of the U.S.A the way she attempts to run this household. AND, for a kiddo who has a challenge reading basic words, she sure knows how to joke and how to banter back a good one when needed.

This week is coming fast…Jorden & Erin’s Birthday will be on Friday. They turn 13 years old! No more children in the Little House. I will be officially surrounded by teenagers. I have to admit, I have a lot of mixed emotions about this. My children are no longer society’s children…As they have now reached that trivial “teen” year. However, as their Mother…they will always be MY children whether they like it or not. Just as we all are God’s children…at least, that is my reason for it!

Until Next Time,

E

(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)