Friday, September 3rd 2010
It seems everytime I meet someone new….and they learn about my family I seem to get the same response…AND that is “you have 3 children with special needs?” and my response is, “yes”…AND then they say “You are doing it all by yourself?” and my response again is, “yes”. Then they ask “How do you do it?”, or they respond “you must be an angel”. AND the truth is….How do I do it? I really am not sure…but I do know I am doing it with God by myself every step of the way…and at times, I am not sure how good of a job I am doing. AND an Angel? Far from…I’m just the girl he chose to be the Little kiddos Old Lady, and to be quite honest…I really would like to know what was he thinking? AND then I remember who am I to question God?
So, this brings me to my point in today’s blog. Yesterday Jase & I came to the decision to go our seperate ways…and the challenge I was struggling with was “How do I tell the kids?” Part of this separation is including being seperated from the kids. However, I understand that they all have a relationship with him, and they love him dearly, they look up to him…so to cut off any communication with him completely would be unfair to them. However, something needs to be done…and I’m just not sure what to do.
Well, I came home last night wondering what to say to the kids…wondering if I should say anything…but apparently I didn’t have to say much. It must have been written all over my face. They knew something was up…and they knew what it was. They all were sad…but Taylor was broken hearted. After hugging & laying on my lap for a good 20 mins…she went into her room and sobbed. 
I felt so alone and felt like I had failed as a Mom. I put Tay into my bed to lay in my bed…so she would feel more comforted. I woke up in the morning with all of my kiddos in my bed. Tay on one side, Erin on the other, & Jorden switching from laying next to me to laying on the end of the bed. AND I have to say…they weren’t there to comfort each other….they were there to comfort me.
My kiddos have never ended up in bed with me like that. It was like God was telling me that I have all the love I need right now. How did I get so lucky? I was given 3 Angels.
Until Next Time,
E
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