Wednesday, August 11th 2010
PART 5
MY JOURNEY WITH JASE (CONTINUED…)
Before I go on with this story I want to stress that when I decided to write about the past few years with Jase I didn’t want this to be “one sided”, however…currently I have limited to no contact with Jase, therefore; I am doing my best to be fair, as objective (as I possibly can), and as accurate as I can be. I also want to state that I did ask his permission to be candid and let him know before hand that I was writing our story. He agreed and felt that it was something I should have done along time ago. At times when I am writing, “I still wonder “hmmmm, should I? or shouldn’t I write that?” Just keep in mind, that there might be a possibility that one of my children may come across this…therefore, I am doing my best to keeping it as real as possible.
I already explained the first year of our journey together…and let me just say I did my best to be objective as possible. It was a tough year, some challenging things happened, and Jase definitely had some HUGE butthead moments, AND when I say “Butthead” that is being nice. AND , let me just follow that statement to say…that don’t worry I have my “Butthead” moments coming up tomorrow! However, I will be more candid about my moments. During the end of that summer, Jase started seeing someone else…and I was asked to stay out of the picture. He dated that woman for a short while and when they stopped, we began to pick right up where we left off. Another time, when I should have walked away…and I didn’t, something inside me said “love him anyway.” AND I did.
Another year flew by, with more ups and downs. I purchased a home near our church (Central Christian Church). I had previously lived about 30 minutes from the church and was commuting back and forth about 2-3 times a week. Jase, helped me move in and he began to spend more and more time with us. We went on our 3rd Mission Trip to Mexico. We still “officially” weren’t a couple…but in actuality did everything together.
The Holidays had arrived and Jase stayed with us pretty much full time. (Now this was not one of our best choices). Let me briefly explain our relationship during this time… It was evident that there were feelings for each other, and we were affectionate, however our affection was very limited. We were bestest of friends doing life together. It’s so great to have a partner that you can love and worship God together. I was able to do that with Jase. I have never felt the most free with anyone than I did with him when expressing my faith to. AND, I see now where I just settled at times, because being with him was better than being alone.
I was helping him with his seminar business (Life Tigers) by working the seminars, making phone calls, and assisting with some internet stuff. I loved working the seminars. I still do! I absolutely loved meeting the people, seeing their passion for life come alive, and seeing Jase make a difference AND being a part of that with him. I believe we are an awesome team, especially when we put all the previous crud aside. However, there was a key component missing…Jase didn’t feel the way I felt for him, and I felt that I was putting all my energy into helping him with Life Tigers that I was setting the passion and dreams I had for Families of Children w/Spec. Needs aside. There were also times, where I felt he didn’t see my passion and really wasn’t concerned or wanted to help me. I don’t know if he truly got how much I loved Life Tigers. I feel a part of that business, even now. I guess that is something I need deal with…but I want him to succeed so badly in it. Therefore, when he has challenges…it kills me (more than I think he has ever realized).
Before, ending this post…I want to explain one more thing that was a key component to this year. I believe I told you that Jase had a real challenge accepting some behaviors and challenges the kids had when he first met them (especially Little Tay). I didn’t realize it till much later, but at one point he did not like Taylor at all. He often tells this story in his seminars….
During the second year (especially, when he stayed with us during the Holidays…he began to learning about her. He learned all about how she responded to love, praise, reinforcements, and to discipline. Jase started to get really involved with the kids. I almost think it was like his own personal project. Personal project or not, I enjoyed it because for the first time in a long time I had someone who was willing to help me get Taylor’s behavior under control. He really did the best that he knew how. He was creative and was known to think outside the box…Before you knew it… Jase and Taylor were new best friends!
I never expected it to take so long for me to explain the past few years…this has been one of the most challenging things I have ever had to write. Emotions keep coming up, memories (good and bad), and I have had some huge ah ha moments that have hit me like a ton of bricks. I should have done this so long ago.
Until Next Time,
E
(TO COMMENT PLEASE CLICK ON THE ABOVE HEADER)
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.