Sunday, June 6th, 2010
As I am typing, Taylor is laying sound asleep next to me in my bed. I just gave her some medicine rectally in order to stop a seizure she was having. It absolutely breaks my heart to see her so confused and so uncomfortable when she has these. You know, seeing her and Erin go through these really stinks!
I do my best to always look on the bright side…but I promised when writing this blog..I would be authentic and right now…It really sucks!!! My heart breaks.
I love these kids more than anyone can imagine. I really do. AND, I truly believe that they are here for a reason…I do my best to focus on that daily…every time I get sad, every time there is an obstacle to overcome, I know that there is a purpose…I just know it. There has to be. I guess that is why I write this blog. Hoping to fulfill their purpose, hoping to give one family a little bit of hope and faith, hoping to make sure my children’s life is full of purpose, hope, and encouragement for others. Again, I have got to believe it is. I often think my family & friend’s think I’m nutty for how passionate I can be at times…but I can’t help it….I just want what every parent wants for their children. I want them to be able to have it all, to be happy, to live their dreams, and sometimes I wish I truly knew what those dreams are. I also wish I had someone next to me that truly understood the pain and frustration. It can lonely at times with these thoughts. I get wrapped up in my own wants and needs at times and it is times like these that kick me in the butt and cause me to change gears to where my priorities and thoughts should focus.
I say all this…because it is times like these when my children hurt and I sit in a house with all three of them feeling like my hands are tied, feeling that life is not fair for them, and feeling angry. These feelings aren’t felt often, but right now they are real and soon shall pass.
Until Next Time,
E
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