Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
Today is supposed to be a fabulous day because it is one of our favorite days of the Month here in The Little House. Every first Wednesday of the month my church (www.centralchristianchurch.com) puts on what is called “First Wednesday”. This is a service that is held in the evening that is made up of most worship, communion, and my pastor usually provides a small message. It is mostly a time when all ages come together and worship, dance, and enjoy God together! We absolutely LOVE First Wednesdays!
Well, I would have never guessed that there would be any unhappiness in this house today…but I guess someone knew something I didn’t because if there was a rain cloud hovering over a house in Henderson, NV then it must have been mine! It was as if thunder exploded here!
Let me explain…If you know Taylor or have seen her videos then you may know that she is delayed in all developmental areas. Especially in the areas of Cognition and Speech/Language. Therefore, there are times when she is tired or upset, therefore; she has a challenging time expressing her emotions and thoughts. So challenging at times that she just shuts down and it is as if Taylor has left the building. She becomes emotionally charged and yells, cries, screams, and says things that you wouldn’t ever expect her to say.
Earlier today, Taylor was expecting to go with Jase somewhere. He was unable to go the time she intended to go with him. AND when she realized she wasn’t able to go…I immediately could see her stop in motion. Instead of saying “Mom, I’m really upset that I can’t go!” or “That sucks!” she became very quiet and sat without saying a word on the couch. About 20 minutes later I asked her to get ready and change her clothes for First Wednesday. I don’t know what it was about the clothes she was wearing but this triggered a huge fit and she began yelling and screaming “I don’t want to change my clothes” while banging her fist on the table and due to the fist banging she broke her watch…which made her more upset and she began to cry and scream “Mom, now look what you did! You broke my watch!” Poor thing, when upset, she has such a hard time calming down.
She used to have fits so often (about 1 every other day) and now it seems that she gets that upset about an average of 1-3 times a month, which is a HUGE improvement!!! We have been able to teach her to snap out of it by using difference methods (she may take a cold shower, put her hands under cold water, go outside in the backyard, or simply listen to music) Its great to see when she actually does this on her own to calm down!
Well, tonight…she wasn’t budging. Especially, after her watch broke! It lasted nearly an hour…and how she was able to break her pattern of upset was a hug! Jorden and I at the same time, went up to her and gave her a soft hug. This instantly calmed her down. We told her we loved her…and she collected herself and said “I’m sorry.” These fits have taken a lot out of me in the past and depending on my day they still can. However, we continue to work with Taylor on expressing her thoughts and feelings when she is upset and if she is upset, we have worked with her on how she copes with it.
Please know…that I am sharing this with you because I want to make a difference. There are many kiddos similar to Taylor that have a hard time expressing themselves…and its human nature for the anger and sadness to come out some way. So, when I think of it like that…I may be frustrated at her at the time…but I know it difficult for her. Especially, when she comes to me once she is calm and tells me she is sorry. Grace is an awesome thing!
Therefore, I request…that if you ever see a child throwing a tantrum or having a “moment” in a store… please choose to assume the best and give that family a little extra love and grace. It can go along way for them!
Until Next Time,
E
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8:48 am
Eden, I envision people reading your blog who need help with their own children. Your methods offer a loving & kind way to help a child (& an adult, too, for that matter!) … and, it’s good for others to know you can lose your patience, etc., too – ’cause you’re a real person.
So, for me this is very helpful … your blog has a two-fold purpose: good advice for what to do when dealing with a similar situation and a good suggestion for others when we see “a problem child”.
Keep up your good work! (for me it’s ye ole: wish I’d known that back when…
7:44 am
I’m so glad to hear that you have found some ways to help Tay with calming down. She is sensitive to what she feels is right and wrong. It can be challenging to have to work through her emotional feelings in the way she often does with her outbursts. But the smiles and the heart of gold will pull you through.